I'm just pathetic.

When I was needed, I'm always be there. When there is something else, I no longer important, everything is my fault. I never be the right one, never... Life is unfair, it never be fair too... I just swallowing my voice... I can't imagine the day when it burst... But does it important? Who cares? I'm just someone passed by... I don't feel my existent is important... I'm just pathetic... I live too much for other... Where are the part for myself? I just choose to give it to others... I live in others life than myself... But people can't see... Why is people think I'm selfish? I'm really not... I think of others before I do something... i did really do things for someone, not for myself... I really don;t like the way people look down on me... Some time, I just accept the fact, yes, I'm useless... This is why I did nothing...

Right, just don't care what I said here... Please don't even give a damn on it... I'm just sad here & write some nonsense... I'm sad that people can do all sort of things, as they like! In another hand, I can't even do anything where it never be a wrong thing to be done... I never blame this to anyone... I just did it on my own will...

Weddings.

Editing couple's weddings photo... Looking at their happy face... their united & happy family & friends... and they're so happy to get married... but I felt like it is getting far and impossible for me....

My gf.

I think my gf are the best! She is very good. haha!

P.S. I love you.

mei you yong

Again, a lonely night...

Dui.. wo chen ren wo bing mei you yi yang shi hao de... shi mei you yi yang! yi qian, yi lu yi lai, dou ren wei wo you wo de yiu dian... jui jin, ta gao shu wo you na me de bu hao... da me duo de que dian... zhi ji fan xing yi xia, dou zhan tong... jin tian de wo, dou shi zhi ji yi shou zao chen de.

you shi zai xiang, wei shen me ta neng yi ge xing qi he ta na ban tong yang de peng you chu qu ne... yiu bu shi hen jiu cai jian yi chi... ye mei you shen yi tan... lian wo you wen ti ta dou bu dong... jen gao bu qing... you shim hen xiang you ren gao shu wo...

Jin tian ba shuo de wo hen dui... wo di que hen duo que dian... dui bu qi, ba... rang ni men shi wang le... wo hui jing liang juo dao jui hao de...


to be continue...

mei gui

mei gui yi chi y chi de ci shang le wo de shou... dan, wo ren ran mei fang qi...

man shou shang hen lei lei de, wo hai yi ran mei fang qi... jian qi wo de guan nian... wo xiang jiu ru wo na tian yu dao de yi ge cheng gong ren shi shuo shuo de... zhi yao jian ch zhi ji de jia shi guan nian, chai neng cheng gong de you yi yi... wo jue de, na guan bie ren jue de wo juo de dui bu dui, zhi yao wo xin li shi zhen de, wei shen mo yao guan na xie xian ren xian yu ne? ta men zhi chi xi huan feng chi bie ren, ye ying wei ta men de bu dao na fen zhen, jiang zhi ji de xu, zhi ji pian zhi ji, dang shuo hen wei feng... hen duo shi hou, ren bi ren, bi shi ren... wei shen mo wo jiu yi ding yao he bie ren gei de na xie yi yang? jiu lian chi fan zhi you fu yu pei fan ye neng shi de hen kai xin ma! wo bu guan bie ren you duo fu you, qu na li lu xing, mai xie shen mo, wo zhi neng zai guo nei klu xing, wo ye neng hen kai xin ya! jiu shuang zhi zai gong shi gong zuo, zhi yao he xi huan de ren, guo de xun li, kai xin, ye hen man zhu ya! you shi, zhi ji ye zhe jue de, bie ren de hao, wo men ba ta fang da, ta men zai bei hou de ku chong, shi wo men kan bu dao de... bie ren zhen me xiang wo, zhen me kan wo, xian zai de wo, ye bu guan le, ying wei wo zhi dao wo zai gan shen mo, ni men shuo kan dao de, ye zhi shi wo de qu ke... gen ben wu fa kan dao wo de zhen xin...dao jin tian, hai shi mei you yi ge ren neg zhen zheng liao jie zhen zheng de wo... jiu shuan shi jui hao de peng you, kou shuo ta men ming bai, den ta men ming bai de, you you ji shen ne? dau jin tian, zai mei ge ren de yan guang, hai shi na me de shi bai... dang wo jian qiang de shi hou, you shei hui cheng kan dao ne? kan hui wo de bu luo ge, shang xin de dui ji ru shan... ying wei, wo ba bu kai xin de dou fang zai chi chu, kai xin de, tong tong liu zai xin li...

bie ba wo kan dao na me bei, ni men zhi shi kan dao wo bei de yi mian, ying wei, wo ba kai xin de, dou liu gei zhi ji he wo ai de ren... huan rao zhe wo, mei ba ta men fang jin zhe shang xin bu luo ge...

p/s: bai she mei gui dai biao wo dui ni de chuen... Dear, shi zhou yue kuai le! wo ai ni!

22-09-2010

What i want is just to make you happy.. I don't want to miss every single chance to doing things that you like me to do... I tired my best to packed all my stuff and make me some more extra time to be with you...

And every time that I feel she is great, that moment, will the beginning of some shit...

I felt like I've shifted place with some one she hate... I'm the bad person now... I'm the one she don't want to answer my calls... I'm the person who talks bad things...

p/s: I know i shouldn't speak like that... Maybe i was just tired... I run here and there all day... Just though that can have a nice talk but I don't know that I'm disturb you watching TV... I'm sorry dear...

中秋节快乐！

17-09-2010

hai ji de yi bu cha bu duo yi nian qian... ta shuo hen xiang lian wo... wo zhen yang ye chou shu shi jian, qu pei ta... you shi hou, yao ta deng wo hen jiu... shen zhi shi ji ge zhong... mei chi ta chu men, wo dou hui jing liang standby wo de sh jian... jin chuan li qu juo yi ge 24 xiao, bai frn bai de hao nan you...

jin tian de wo, deng le yi tian you yi tian... hao bu rong yi chai deng dao na tian, jiu zhai bei tui diao le... yi tian yiu guo le... yiu zhai deng ming tian... hai jing ran zhi ji na mo ben.. na mo tian zhen.... hai yau shi zhui hou yi ge zhi dao... zhe cie nian lai... jiu lian shen me lian shen me jia dou diu le... jui hou, hai shi zhi ji juo chuo le.... zhen de hao wu tui lu la... bu shi hen xi huan zhi ji shi yi ge thinker... xiang tai duo... lei de hai shi zhi ji... yin wei xiang dao de, ye wu fa shuo chu kou, bu shi mei dan, shi huan bu chen yu yan biao da chu lai...

dao jui hou, wo hai shi na ge shi bai de... wo bu guan ren jia zhen yang kan wo, pi ping wo, bu dong wo... wo zhi xi wang ni neng gou ming bai wo... dan wo zhi dao, bie ren shuo de, jiu bu neng bu li hui...

hen kai xin ni neng enjoy... you shi xin xiang, qig yuan xi shen zhi ji, jiu rang ta qu kai xin ba... bu neng guan na me duo de... zhi yau ni kai xin... wo ye shi hao ba na xie xiang fa guan qi lai ba...

p/s: dang dao le quan shi jie mei ren xu yao shi, na ge shi hou ying gai shi li kai de shi hou ba...

mau dun.

ren men tong chang dou hen wan gu. bie ren fen fu bu yau juo de shi, ta men hai shi yau qu juo... bu ting qu bie ren de quan gao. dang fa sheng shi qing de shi hou, chai hui hou hui.. na ge shi hou, ta men tong chang dou hui ziang, ren jia shu shi le yi ju an wei dou mei you, hai yau ma ren jia... shuo ren jia bu ting hua... ta men chong mei xiang guo, bie ren xian fen wan fu bie qu juo na yang shi qing... shi da men zhi ji na lai de... bu tan rang zhi ji shou shang, hai yao rang guan xing ta men de ren shang xin... bu tan na yang, ta men hai qiang ren jia qu an wei ta men... tan ru guo fa sheng shi si, ren jia an wei ta men, ta ye hui shuo, an wei wo you shen mo yong? dou fa sheng le...  haiz.... zhen jia ren jin tui liang nan ya... 

p/s: zhi shi tu ran xiang dao she yang de hua ti... zai man jiu shi kan dao de dian ying, gu shi li mian de yi suan qing jie...

Don't judge me!

Don't judge me and say I shouldn't do this and that.... It just because you don't get your chances to do so and you think that was not suppose to be done... Bare in mind, u got your way and I have my life.... People see you as a pure but not me... Don't try to wash others brains... What you can think others can too... What you have today is because of your own deed... You don't gain my respect but I will still respect you as just to respect others...

p/s: this is for those who will never see my blog, if u read this, it means it's not for u... dun think too much... just to shout out some thing that i concerned... prevent is always better than cure... Just hope it doesn't goes as what i think it wad going to happen..

Hurt

zen de hen shang xin... hen shi wang.... xin hen tong...yi qie dou bei hui le... wo juo de yi qie, ye bai fei le... yi zhi yi lai, wo dou shi ji pian zhi ji... wo you wo de xiang fa, dan dou mei ren dong... wo bu hui biao da, ye zhi hao ren shu.... wo shi huai ren... wo hao wu yi zhang pi zai wo lian shang... hai zai zhe li, ye mei shen me yi yi le,,,


ling yi fang mian, wo chong lai dou mei you xiang guo yao he ni men he bu lai.. shi ni men zhi ji yi shou zao chen... ni men zhe yang juo shi hui rang wo dui ni men geng du lan... ni men bu zhi dao shi qing de zhen xiang... ni men gen ben ye mei zhi ge... wo you wo de sheng huo... ru guo ni men shi hui xiang de, jiu bu hui you jin tian... qing ni men bu yao jiang zhi ji kan de na mo wei da! we dui ni men zhi shi kan zai ta de mian zi shang... wo jian chi wo de xiang fa...

Alone....

It's still the same old question from my friend...
What's the miserable thing in my life?
Ans: Things that I want it to be the best, things that i like, or important to me will always get ruined at the end...

Need no time of a week, my mood is going back down again... Tear drops is dipping again... It should be a very good sleep every night... but it wasn't as my expectation... I can't sleep well at all... without her at my side... Can't see her right i open my eyes in the morning... I miss her so much... but now it seems to be a night mare coming soon... Some history might just going to happen again.... I don't want it to be... I hate it so much when things that I think it going to be fine or the thing is going fine, and it just blown in the end... I was scared... I feel weak now...

mm meh hao ngin

choi ng ga ge ngan gong, ngai du he yit zak hao ngin, ki sit ngai he yit zak pu tong ngin... yit si he zak soi ngin... yit shi, ngai hao hoi sim... gok dek ngai coi ngin sang jui gao fung... bu go, mui dong ngai gok dek ngai hao hoi sim ai cin si... du jiu dit shi qin, jin dao ngai hao ci det lok san guk... mm goi mao zhan ngai... yin wui ngai mm meh hao ngin!!!

mui bai ngai tong ngi pen yiu gok dek hao hoi sim, wa je he gok dek hao oi hao oi gi, go hiu, du mm hiao chong jiu, gong yiu chao gao... mm song dui fong... ngai hao tao yam ngai si ga... i hao sien... mou sai fong hiong gam... hao zhi bei... hao mao yong... arghhhh!!!!!!

nower2go

malai ngin go ngan tong chong do hiao he liao.. dan he niabai kun loi do hee shiga yit zak ngin go... hao sien... hao xiong hi hang ha kun ha... bu go moau an do lui chut giat... xiong hi fong shong yit ha... jin ge hao koi...

i tld u d-is my4

wo you hen duo hen duo hua yao shuo!!!!!! Tai duo le... shuo bu chu le... zhi you jui kuai de shuo chu lai... zai xin li tong tong shuo chu lai...

wo mei you bu shuang ta! wo mei you fa ta pi qi! wo zhi shi hen men!

idn wt2do ad cz igt no wok2do. ijz fl boring. ijz12tlk b4go2slp. cz she'll nt here d nxdy. bt i oly gt "i12slp". wn i1hug her, mzb sum hw hurt her. i nt dare2 hug ad. i nt dare2sy i cry cz i sad cz idn1u fel dt isad2b wif u. cz i'm nt2.

nw ur in e-other face spewg venom in ur wrd wn u spit dm

myb dt wt hpn wn a tornado mt a volvano

dn u hr my sincerity in my voice wn i tlk

i tld u d-is my4

lok in2my i bal

nxtm i pis i lay my fis@d-rywal

nxtm. dr won b no nxtm

i apologiz ev tou i no it lie

im tired of d game ijz1hr bk

i no i a liar

22-07-2010

I feel very sick... almost not sleep for 2 days... I didn't have any proper meal since 3 days ago... Whole body suffer in pain... with a sad soul too... I'm not fine...

Sorry to friends.

Alright... I got that. Sorry guys... I thought that's a compliment, but I'm wrong. Sorry for u guys to have a brainless friend like me...

PS: I backed you up for so many things... even more than you know. You should give me advise or warn me, not post some thing on my wall to tease me... I'm sorry!

Wow!

Wow! It was so hurt when you've been told that you can do nothing! Everything will still be that worse no matter how good you done! And It's even worse when you see things will goes wrong but you are not allowed to stop it even talk about it! Wow!!!

17-07-2010

I can't graduate this year... I don't know how to face people around... Some how, I got to find my ways... as I've been told by Pam... I feel sick... Headache since 4 days ago. Went in bed before the normal time I usually sleep too... Chest pain again... what ever it is... It's much more hurt when a day you found out you are no longer in your friends list... when all the event created, you will never get invited... you are not being forgotten... Is that people don't want to hang with you anymore... more sad is, people who is so important for you, is not supportive for what you want to do... I did everything for friends... I did good jobs... but not one I did good for my close one... Maybe I had... just that not being recognize... yet, I still keep my faith... I'm not giving up... In past, I was not given chance because of my immaturity... Today, I meet with this again... Not on myself this time... So I gave chances... I hope there will be no limit of giving those... so as my love... I want to be great... for everyone... even I'm not...

p/s: It's sad to heard story of my friend... I'm far more lucky than them.. at least i still got chances to do things right...

15-07-2010

A day start up with very very good mood, everything goes fine....

but it ended up with again... argument and disappointment...

Yup, just because of some I don't know what it is....

And yup again... I failed my subject and I can't graduate!!!

Sometimes Most of the time, I felt I'm the best man in the world! I'm the luckiest boy on the planet! I'm got the BEST things in the universe! And just right at the moment of enjoyment, ME, standing at the top of the world, falling the the darkness at the bottom of the valley... I feel like to cry, my tears couldn't be hold... but I need to keep telling myself, no, I'm not allowed to do so... It happen all the time... 

It feels like you got everything on your wishlist & it end up with you wake up it just a dream. When it's a dream, maybe you wake up again in the next morning, you will never remember what you dream today... But life is not, things happened and it's like dragging you in the Hell... You feel miserable on your life but you couldn't do anything or no body can help... 

It was so hard impossible to avoid things-you-don't-want to happen... Maybe there's a way... I believe there's a way, I trying very hard to work on it.... It just don't know when can I still keep my mind clear and still own the strength and spirit for it... Just hopping for the best that I could have....

I got these thought.

Life get miserable when:

...you want some thing, and u can't get it... or even got the chance to have it...

...you tried everything to avoid something happen, and it HAPPEN!

...something works on every single person in the world, but not the one you love most.

Sunny day came after the storms... but, storms come after that too...
It must be a storm there... but please not that often please...
I might say every party will be the same...
Just which side or point of view you are standing at...
You did something, for someone;
Others will also did something, for someone too...
Some times, just that we only see things in a point of view.
It's not just about ME.
You will never know what peoples have done for you...
You might say you know that, but we will never know we we really knew.
I's not everything can be define or can be describe through words...
Some times, things we wanted things to happen will just like people sitting there and hopping for the world will not end by it times...

Day by day, my times are running shorts...
Some times, I just feel that I need to seek for a psychologist...
Maybe they can help...
Maybe this can give me more times...