22-07-2010

I feel very sick... almost not sleep for 2 days... I didn't have any proper meal since 3 days ago... Whole body suffer in pain... with a sad soul too... I'm not fine...

Sorry to friends.

Alright... I got that. Sorry guys... I thought that's a compliment, but I'm wrong. Sorry for u guys to have a brainless friend like me...

PS: I backed you up for so many things... even more than you know. You should give me advise or warn me, not post some thing on my wall to tease me... I'm sorry!

Wow!

Wow! It was so hurt when you've been told that you can do nothing! Everything will still be that worse no matter how good you done! And It's even worse when you see things will goes wrong but you are not allowed to stop it even talk about it! Wow!!!

17-07-2010

I can't graduate this year... I don't know how to face people around... Some how, I got to find my ways... as I've been told by Pam... I feel sick... Headache since 4 days ago. Went in bed before the normal time I usually sleep too... Chest pain again... what ever it is... It's much more hurt when a day you found out you are no longer in your friends list... when all the event created, you will never get invited... you are not being forgotten... Is that people don't want to hang with you anymore... more sad is, people who is so important for you, is not supportive for what you want to do... I did everything for friends... I did good jobs... but not one I did good for my close one... Maybe I had... just that not being recognize... yet, I still keep my faith... I'm not giving up... In past, I was not given chance because of my immaturity... Today, I meet with this again... Not on myself this time... So I gave chances... I hope there will be no limit of giving those... so as my love... I want to be great... for everyone... even I'm not...

p/s: It's sad to heard story of my friend... I'm far more lucky than them.. at least i still got chances to do things right...

15-07-2010

A day start up with very very good mood, everything goes fine....

but it ended up with again... argument and disappointment...

Yup, just because of some I don't know what it is....

And yup again... I failed my subject and I can't graduate!!!

Sometimes Most of the time, I felt I'm the best man in the world! I'm the luckiest boy on the planet! I'm got the BEST things in the universe! And just right at the moment of enjoyment, ME, standing at the top of the world, falling the the darkness at the bottom of the valley... I feel like to cry, my tears couldn't be hold... but I need to keep telling myself, no, I'm not allowed to do so... It happen all the time... 

It feels like you got everything on your wishlist & it end up with you wake up it just a dream. When it's a dream, maybe you wake up again in the next morning, you will never remember what you dream today... But life is not, things happened and it's like dragging you in the Hell... You feel miserable on your life but you couldn't do anything or no body can help... 

It was so hard impossible to avoid things-you-don't-want to happen... Maybe there's a way... I believe there's a way, I trying very hard to work on it.... It just don't know when can I still keep my mind clear and still own the strength and spirit for it... Just hopping for the best that I could have....

I got these thought.

Life get miserable when:

...you want some thing, and u can't get it... or even got the chance to have it...

...you tried everything to avoid something happen, and it HAPPEN!

...something works on every single person in the world, but not the one you love most.

Sunny day came after the storms... but, storms come after that too...
It must be a storm there... but please not that often please...
I might say every party will be the same...
Just which side or point of view you are standing at...
You did something, for someone;
Others will also did something, for someone too...
Some times, just that we only see things in a point of view.
It's not just about ME.
You will never know what peoples have done for you...
You might say you know that, but we will never know we we really knew.
I's not everything can be define or can be describe through words...
Some times, things we wanted things to happen will just like people sitting there and hopping for the world will not end by it times...

Day by day, my times are running shorts...
Some times, I just feel that I need to seek for a psychologist...
Maybe they can help...
Maybe this can give me more times...

14-07-2010

Today, just a blink of eye, a year passed. The 1st Anniversary of my first DSLR bought. Still remember the day my car first hit by other end up with a broken head lamp. It's been a year, still being an armature. My degree ends, it's time again for me to choose another road again... Don't know where my path is.... Don't even know I can continue my studies... I'm abit... LOST here...

I still can remember it fresh in my mind like almost 2 years ago: My friend asked me, Tommi, what's the misarable thing happened on you in your life? No doubt, I answer: Nothing I guess... As time passed, many things happened with grown up more... There're something I felt miserable with.... It's all about myself...

I hate Photographer!

If

.......If...........

If I got no money, I will never got friends...
If I really am, I will never got a gf too...

If I don't do all that, I won't get all these...
If I did that, I will never get all these too...
No matter it's a good one or a bad one...

If I never exist in this world,
The world will never become like this.

No matter it's a good one or a bad one...

It's been a while.

08-07-2010

It's months I never wrote on blog.

Recently, kind of free, but times looks packed. No more classes, but still feel times are never enough...

These days, something is bothering me... I don't know what was it... I don't feel good...

It's like I can't get things done at all... It's hard to do what I wanted to do... What's really wrong here?

Try so hard to change something, improving... but it's not easy... Things doesn't get right... Realize many things... I'm changed... Different... but others are not... Lots of out-of-control things... I don't want them to happened at all! Trying to be cool... & steady... Look for the best and positive one... Everything will be fine... Have to be patient...