Hopeless.

Hahahahahaha! So what I suppose to do??? She think I will do so... any maybe I did it before... I so freaking hate it... I'm a junk... HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! HA! HA! HA! I'm a BAD GUY!!!

And it rather to talk with friend than bf.. cause I know, bf will always lead topic to argument and fighting in the end... Damn farking disappointed with myself... hopeless human being on the earth....

She said she doesn't care about me anymore. It came out from her own mouth.

And I so worry that the moment I still can be on this planet or existing in this world is going to be less... I want and hope to treasure everything I got? now but it seems to be quite an unsuccessful things for me... I fail myself... Hoping for another chance to be given? Why should people give it to me where I don't even care? Who say I don't care! Is me who care too much and lead to the day I have today! I'm too much and always in the wrong path perhaps? And one thing for sure, I don't give up easily... I hope there are no reason for me to have the chance to give up either....

To myself: Stay strong... Like she told me, I have believe...

Anger.

Recently I felt that I'm still that emotionally... Easy lost control of myself... Emotionally...  Even worse is that I felt like I can't breath... My brain is stuck.... It similar to stroke... The muscle of my face is like being pulled... I feel dizzy... and want to vomit... chest is pain some times too... What a weak man... Can't believe that I'm these kind of people... WTF...
In the other and, I got many nightmare and bad dreams, some time wake up and confuse which one is the real world... Even worse, I got more than 10 bad dreams before i wake up today... What's wrong with me? I dun even trying to remember any of them...

Anger is shortening my life... I DON"T WANT THAT!
Should I get an expert on these? A doctor or Psychologist? I think I got problems...

Nah!

I HATE CHILDISH YOUNGSTER!!!
Wake up la!! Get into college already still have a brain like those who still sucking mummy's tits! Nah!
And dun freaking think you are very cool with your farking cigarette. You smoking doesn't make me less a hair, but your farking smelly breath is very irritating! Fark off you smoker and don't farking come near me or my people!  Happy killing yourself and people around you!