WHAT AM I DOING???!!!

WHAT AM I DOING???!!!

WHAT AM I DOING???!!!

WHAT AM I DOING???!!!

WHAT AM I DOING???!!!

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT I'M DOING????

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL CB HKC I'M FUCKING DOING?????

AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I was just about to bed! THAT'S IT!"

误解

被人误解，不好受。 可以说任何东西来解释，可以是事实，也可以是谎言。很容易人误解，给他人假象，让人误会？可能因不想那么快让人揭晓，揭开的太迟，也就这样，不合时的惊喜，悲剧发生了。

我只是随着心情，顺其自然吧。。。词汇有限的我，不善于表达，难于将思考的，转化为文字，或表达出来。 好想能有一个链接电缆，毫无隔膜地让人阅取思想，观念，性情，或在想什么。。。

我很想说出来，但不懂怎么说呀。。。

Illusion.

Things always not as what we see. Do you think that what you see is really what you see? Hahaha... This is science... You looking at a printed material, there're pictures on it... What you might sees might not be what you really sees, the picture is not a picture actually... That colourful 'picture' is just a combination of only four different basic colour fine dots... This can be said as an illusion. So as words, news, story, anything... Things look differently when you see it in different angle or view. When a signal is sent out, different medium gets different information.

It is not "A memorial for an end of a relationship".

It is "A memorial for the begins of a new life".

Who cares? This is why misunderstanding are alway occurs... There's no prevention of it... same as war... Who's right who's wrong? Why must give a damn on it?

Plan.

There's a thing that distressed me. It start even few months ago... Even because of that, a few argument had occurred.. I don't know what to do. Recently, I got a few little hints... So I did some research... In the end, I can't get what I want... There are still some thing can be considered, but it will never can be done on time... In the other hand, I talk to some people, looking for idea... and I found that another problem appear where I still got no idea for existing one... Oh no... I have to totally change the plan...

Wish me luck.

Stressed.

I got a feeling... Not a god one... If you ask me why, I don't know... I was confuse. I was happy, but sad too... I can't convert my thought into words... There're like no one I can talk to... Pam got her own problems... My friends? How many friends do I have? I mean the really can talk with? Yes, there're some... It'll be a long long long story to tell where I'm not a good story teller... My partner... I wish to talk to her.. I found very hard to talk my feelings to people... I don't know how to start a word... Pam ask me: how r u? I can't even answer her... I don't know how to tell... Like no one will know what happen to me. Sometimes, I drive real fast... dangerous one... It's like driving is now my only way to express myself... When I'm driving, I can choose my own road... The car go where I wanted it to go, it run fast as I wanted it to be... Even it's not a really good performance car, there are limits... It can't accelerate faster as I wanted it to be... It can't go faster speed as I wan to run... It don't really that comfortable as I trying to have... but most of the time, it still under my control... Life is not.

I want to set myself free... Not to think so much... Let everything go... not everything I have to control... Trying hard to free myself... What I stressed for? I don't know? Friends and love one are always there for me... They do help a lots... but in the end, it still back to my decision... But at least, I just want to share my thought or just to shout out my mind....

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I'm lost and drown.... Save me... please... (:'c)

Hoitong.

It's my cousin's farewell party before he go to NS. We went Hoitong... Kind of board to go Hoitong... But this visit is quite good... I ogt my little cousin to squeeze orange juice for me... This is quite a relax diner... Pam cook and do everything for me this time... hehehe... Mom cook for me too... My cousins take all the 'delivery' jobs... They bring me ice-cream, fruits, almost everything... hehehe...

Thanks Pam, Mom, sis, all my cousins.. =)

Forgiveness.

It's not that hard to forgive some one.. especially the one you really love. There's some one hurt me so so deep before... I'm still going to forgive that someone... I still remember there's a day my dog did something make me so so mad... I bit & scolded him very badly... But just a moment after that, I hug him and sayang it back... My heart is pain for doing so to him... He was so scared, and I comfort it back...

That was a dog... but for people.. thing alway not that easy... even I just mad a person for just a while, it can't be fine by just a hug and sayang back... It's not a very big problem.. maybe just a minute to calm down... a few shout out... or just talk to some one.... no more mad at them... but, sometimes, that person are just mad us back for that... It's not that hard for me to forgive a person, but it's was so hard for people to accept my forgiveness?

I'm not that hard to deal with... Why people always see me as a harsh person? I'm not.