Stressed.

I got a feeling... Not a god one... If you ask me why, I don't know... I was confuse. I was happy, but sad too... I can't convert my thought into words... There're like no one I can talk to... Pam got her own problems... My friends? How many friends do I have? I mean the really can talk with? Yes, there're some... It'll be a long long long story to tell where I'm not a good story teller... My partner... I wish to talk to her.. I found very hard to talk my feelings to people... I don't know how to start a word... Pam ask me: how r u? I can't even answer her... I don't know how to tell... Like no one will know what happen to me. Sometimes, I drive real fast... dangerous one... It's like driving is now my only way to express myself... When I'm driving, I can choose my own road... The car go where I wanted it to go, it run fast as I wanted it to be... Even it's not a really good performance car, there are limits... It can't accelerate faster as I wanted it to be... It can't go faster speed as I wan to run... It don't really that comfortable as I trying to have... but most of the time, it still under my control... Life is not.

I want to set myself free... Not to think so much... Let everything go... not everything I have to control... Trying hard to free myself... What I stressed for? I don't know? Friends and love one are always there for me... They do help a lots... but in the end, it still back to my decision... But at least, I just want to share my thought or just to shout out my mind....

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I'm lost and drown.... Save me... please... (:'c)

Hoitong.

It's my cousin's farewell party before he go to NS. We went Hoitong... Kind of board to go Hoitong... But this visit is quite good... I ogt my little cousin to squeeze orange juice for me... This is quite a relax diner... Pam cook and do everything for me this time... hehehe... Mom cook for me too... My cousins take all the 'delivery' jobs... They bring me ice-cream, fruits, almost everything... hehehe...

Thanks Pam, Mom, sis, all my cousins.. =)

Forgiveness.

It's not that hard to forgive some one.. especially the one you really love. There's some one hurt me so so deep before... I'm still going to forgive that someone... I still remember there's a day my dog did something make me so so mad... I bit & scolded him very badly... But just a moment after that, I hug him and sayang it back... My heart is pain for doing so to him... He was so scared, and I comfort it back...

That was a dog... but for people.. thing alway not that easy... even I just mad a person for just a while, it can't be fine by just a hug and sayang back... It's not a very big problem.. maybe just a minute to calm down... a few shout out... or just talk to some one.... no more mad at them... but, sometimes, that person are just mad us back for that... It's not that hard for me to forgive a person, but it's was so hard for people to accept my forgiveness?

I'm not that hard to deal with... Why people always see me as a harsh person? I'm not.

Something missing.

Where is my life?

The day I go jogging, swimming, cycling, gym... Running with my dogs... Speeding with my racing car... Life is so beautiful... Soaking in the freezing water... floating at the pool... looking at the sky... Enjoying the view at the pool side... Put my foot on my runner, enjoying the breeze of the fresh morning air and the warm Sun shine... listen to the birds sing... water flow... Blue sky, green grasses and trees...

All these are never gone... alway there... Just that the life style had changed... There're ton of work load to be finish with... but it seems to be a endless job... There're work to do, but don't know what to do... I become more lazy... taking life too relax and cool... too chill... taking problem not seriously... dream too much...

Now, it's time to trim back to the right path... Trying to talk less... There're people say that we are born to have 2 ears and a mouth is that we are created to take more than give... Have to control myself, more to talk, more mistake... shut my mouth and just listen what people says... No more 'hou chi lan hai gam'...

Used talk with full confidence... Speak loud in public... Slow it all down, world can be more peaceful... (=>)

There're always complains, the cons, and the negative... when that 'something' is gone, or no more belongs to us, or meaningless, only realize that 'something' is the best one or the 'perfect' one... I know it is, but still, why must be critics since it is the best? This is called 'fan jin'...

Have to let go when it's gone... Only memories stays... the presents are so precious... it might be gone in the next second... But how many people on earth can really do so? just try lor... life goes on... let it be let it be... Suddenly, I miss my family, my gf, my dogs, my friends... (=>) Miss you all!!

When the some one is there, we go do something else, always 'still got time', 'later' on mind... but soon, only realize that there're no more chances, or time left... It's time to say goodbye again... Bye Bye... Then we'll say, "oh, I miss you so much"... what's the point? Are you happy with that? A 'No', for myself... Hmm.... thinking something now...

Okay... throw out something here is definitely comfortable a bit here... I don't know what exactly what I'm talking about, just type something which pop out in mind...

Good day! =)

Bad dream.

I dream everyday. Almost every time I sleep. Too many bad dreams... Not good at all... In my dream, there are always death around.... people dies... people get killed... please... stop it...

Excuses.

People always got their own reason and excuses when they did something wrong... Especially people ask them about it...

Cough.

Pam was sick...

She sleep very very late everyday during the holidays...

First, she got sore-throat... now worse..

She get cough...

Every of her cough is beating my heart...

She refuse to seek for a doctor...

So I make every possible drink to cure for her...

Every night she can't asleep cause of the coughing...

She vomit almost every night...

Today, her body temperature start raising...

She refuse to drink herbal tea.. she claim that it cause her vomit...

What can i do now is pray for her to get well soon...

She can't go travel with sick...

I hope the coffee might works...

Thanks for the Cheese cake... Love you.